Ebb and Flow (or Calm and Panic)

So, it’s a bit trying for me the last week or so.

I mentioned briefly that I decided last weekend to go to Spain alone.

Since then, it’s been a series of fits and starts. Mainly because I’m not happy at the amount of money I’m spending. But mainly because of my fear of the unknown, and my anxiety that this won’t be the vacation everyone keeps telling me it’s going to be.

Really, all I care about is meeting people, not getting robbed or worse, and having a well-rounded experience in a country I’ve always wanted to visit. I just don’t to be one of those people who complain on those online travel reviews about how someplace sucked or that people were unfriendly or indifferent.

But I think the hardest part has been charging the ol’ credit card. Last week, I sucked it up and bought my airfare. Between yesterday and today, I dropped another wad on accommodation – and that’s only for the first two places I intend to visit (I’m supposed to be going to five locations over 17 days).

But so far my panic’s been briefly counteracted by a brief calm of having gotten the hard part over with each time I finish booking something. And it’s also been helped by people who have been supportive of me taking the plunge, and even more so when people who have been over there (or at least to Barcelona and Grenada, so far) have been enthusiastic and willing to give me information.

I think the excitement of it all won’t sink in until that last booking has been made and I can sleep at night knowing that the hard part will be over.