The Drive-By Technique

So apparently I stand corrected.

I thought the last post was a good example of creepy behaviour I’ve encountered in my part of town.

If this one doesn’t take the cake, then it’s a close second.

Monday, August 15

Beautiful summer day, blue skies, couldn’t possibly complain.

I had just left my house and was walking down my street when I heard a honk.

I felt the tiniest flip in the pit of my stomach and fought the urge to turn around, because deep down, I figured it was one of two things: someone legitimately honking their horn at another driver … OR some dude who decided he needed to get my attention.

Against my better judgment, I was REALLY hoping for it to be the former, so I twisted my neck to the left.

And, keeping my track record intact, it proved to be a BIG mistake.

As I looked, a guy in a Staples delivery truck – bald head, red shirt, Bluetooth earpiece on one side of his head – had pulled up almost parallel to me and was driving along. I was pretty sure  he was asking me if I wanted a ride.

A bolder woman would have given him the finger (or verbalized the meaning).

I merely said, “NO”, loud enough for him to hear.

I think he asked me if I was sure.

I again said, “NO THANK YOU,” and I think I added, “BYE”, to make my point, looking straight ahead.

Thankfully he took off down the street. I muttered, “Sleazebag” under my breath as he drove further away.

Normally, the drivers usually honk and keep going. But slowing down adds an element of shadiness.

And sadly, that wasn’t the first time someone’s yelled at me from inside a car offering me a ride, either on my street or in the area.

The only saving grace – if you could even call it that – is that I’m an adult and not some poor little girl.

Maybe for him, that was fun.

For me, that’s annoying and off-putting. I’m glad he doesn’t (to my knowledge) live in the neighbourhood.

If I could, I seriously would have asked him, “Tell me something, guy: does following someone in your car land you dates? Because where I come from, that’s desperate and creepy.”

I’m trying to imagine some guy telling his adult grandkids about the day he met their grandmother:

“I was just riding along and BAM! There she was walking down the street. Mm, mm, mmm! So naturally, I slowed down to talk to her. She wouldn’t look at me at first, and even told me to eff off. But I wasn’t gonna give up. No, sirree. I knew deep down she liked it, so I decided to be persistent.”

<rolls eyes>

I would LIKE to think a conversation like that wouldn’t happen in real life.

And to the man in the Staples van with the Bluetooth earpiece, I say two words: Game FAIL.

BIG TIME.


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