THIS Works on the Ladies?

For lack of a better posting …

Boys, please take note:

If you’re trying to figure out what NOT to say to someone you’re thinking of dating –  and you’ve only talked to them once –  add the following to the list … part of an IM conversation I had over Thanksgiving weekend last month (I edited out the boring parts):

Me:  how’s it going?
Dude : good and u
Me: fine thanks …
Me:  i’ve been working a lot
Dude: nice
Dude: how is the kids
Dude: and how was your turkey day long weekend?
Me: what kids?
Dude: future kids lol
Me: that’s funny (Ed. Note: No, not really.)
Dude: dont you wanna have kids in the future?
Me: sure … but why are you asking about them now?
Dude: because when , we mixed something i have and something you have , i know we could make kids
Dude: that is why i was asking you
Dude: hehehhehe
Me: oh …
Me: ha ha
Me: ??
Me: you’re being very optimistic
Dude: people who are not optimistic , comment (sic) suciede (double sic) at the end lol
Dude: hehehehhehe

Um, yeah.

Seriously.

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5 thoughts on “THIS Works on the Ladies?

  1. stine says:

    err…. seriously? I can’t imagine the boring parts that you left out! Wow. At least you didn’t waste time meeting this person face-to-face! From the sounds of it, I’m quesitoning how old this dude actually is…

  2. dicampbell says:

    I KNOW, hey?

    As a post-script to this post, I actually talked to him over the phone … I’m sure he was probably an okay guy if not for the (a) thick Somali accent and (b) gum-chewing.

    (To answer the age question, I believe his online profile said he was 34. Which may or may not say a lot.)

    As I left it I said I would let him know about meeting up with him … but haven’t had the motivation to follow through.

    Yes, I’m a bad person. But I’m also a person with low energy and a new work/life schedule. Cut a sister some slack!

  3. Did you talk to this guy on the phone before or after this conversation?

    Rule #1 of online dating: don’t waste your time. There are plenty of fish (pardon the pun) and you need to triage the good/bad/ugly at the first opportunity or you’ll spend way too much time meeting deadbeats at coffee shops. Anyone who can’t spell, uses IM shorthand with the frequency of a highschooler and/or confuses you with someone else that he spoke with who had kids (which appears to be what happened here) is not worth your time and should certainly not be given your phone number. Get used to explaining to “suitors” that you’re not feeling a connection and that you don’t want to waste their time. The more effort that they put into you before you shut them down, the more likely they are to be resentful and crank call you in the middle of the night.

    Sweet lord, why would you waste your time on a dead end like this? You’re way too intelligent and high class for this guy!

    Next!

  4. dicampbell says:

    Oh, i talked to him after the conversation. But that’s as far as it’s gotten … I really need to get around to taking him off my MSN list …

    And I appreciate the words of support. Of course, I gotta start somewhere, right? It’s not like the tried-and-true method of meeting people in the flesh has been working for me thus far …

    Maybe eventually the type of guys I actually like (whomever those are) will stop overlooking me and pay more attention!

    (And by “eventually”, I’m really hoping SOONER, rather than later …)

  5. stine says:

    GO with your gut.

    If something is silly (i.e. mentioning your future kids, heck, kids at all), bizarre (uh… suicide comments over MSN), or doesn’t sit quite right (pretty much all of it), nip it in the bud. You have no duty to these people and if you let guilt get the best of you, you’ll waste time with crazies… and could even put yourself in a dangerous situation.
    I wouldn’t even bother with a phonecall to let them down. Send a brief note. Ignore their response. Block. Done.

    I’m still questioning the age of this person…. hmmmm….

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