So a couple of you have asked whether I plan on keeping you up to date on my “adventures” with the online dating Web site I joined a month ago.
I said unless I had something funny to write about, I wasn’t planning on chronicling it too much.
I’m not sure if what I’m about to write counts as being “funny”, rather than a peeve I’ve developed while using the site (which, as of lately, isn’t very much, due to my intense work schedule).
As with most of these sites, if someone’s interested, they’ll send me a message, via the site’s e-mail service.
But in my experience so far (with two exceptions), the first e-mail consists of the following:
“Hi how are you?”
Possibly a variation or two.
But that’s generally the entire message.
I usually try to send more than a line in response. ‘Cause I’m a talker. That’s what I do.
But sometimes I’m just tempted to write back, “Fine, how are you?” And then just stop.
I don’t MIND if someone starts their conversation with, “Hi, how are you? My name is _____.” But at least add a few mores lines or somethin‘.
One guy that wrote me actually said, “I noticed that we have some of the same things in common …” And then he asked me a couple of questions.
THAT impressed me. That’s PROBABLY how you’re supposed to do things on that site. I dunno. But THAT makes me want to write back to that person, to offer more information, y’know? And I did.
But others – to me, it seems – apparently need a bit of work.
I exchanged numbers with one guy I talked to, based on a Hi-how-are-you e-mail. A day or so later, while walking to work, I heard my phone beep. The guy had sent me a text.
“Hello,” he wrote. Period.
After making fun of him out loud, I wrote him back. “Hi,” I texted. “How are you?”
“I am fines,” he wrote. (Not a typo.)
After a deep breath and rolling my eyes, I texted back, “So, what’s up?”
“Nothing,” he responded. “What are you doing?”
“Going to work,” was my short reply.
“Ok then,” he responded. And that was the end of THAT conversation. To be fair, we did talk later that week, but only because I ended up calling first, just to avoid any more four-word texts.
Another time, guy wrote me a message while I was logged onto the Web site. His first e-mail was “Hi how are you?” as his first e-mail. I looked at his profile and crinkled my nose. But I decided to give it the old college try.
And Lord KNOWS I tried my best to get a conversation going.
By the third exchange, he was all like, “Give me your MSN please.” Just like that. All he offered up in conversation was that he was about to go to bed, because he had to work the next day.
Needless to say, I responded to his MSN request by asking, “How about e-mail instead?” He never wrote me back. (Which is fine by me. Aggressive little man.)
Look, I’m not looking for poetry or a life story in the first e-mail.
But I don’t think I’m being completely unreasonable when I say it WOULD be nice if besides an opening line, there were another two or three lines to go with it, because I’d be more likely to engage in conversation … possibly more.
I also realize that, if it bothers me so much, I can just ignore these one-line messages.
But I’m still at the stage where – at least until I meet them – I’d like to give them a chance.
And hey – perhaps in real life these guys are actually very talkative.
But if I’m doing most of the work in a conversation where only typing is involved …
Am I wrong in thinking I’ll be the one doing the work in a face-to-face conversation?