“Hi, How Are You?”

So a couple of you have asked whether I plan on keeping you up to date on my “adventures” with the online dating Web site I joined a month ago.

I said unless I had something funny to write about, I wasn’t planning on chronicling it too much.

I’m not sure if what I’m about to write counts as being “funny”, rather than a peeve I’ve developed while using the site (which, as of lately, isn’t very much, due to my intense work schedule).

As with most of these sites, if someone’s interested, they’ll send me a message, via the site’s e-mail service.

But in my experience so far (with two exceptions), the first e-mail consists of the following:

“Hi how are you?”

That’s it.

Possibly a variation or two.

But that’s generally the entire message.

I usually try to send more than a line in response. ‘Cause I’m a talker. That’s what I do.

But sometimes I’m just tempted to write back, “Fine, how are you?” And then just stop.

I don’t MIND if someone starts their conversation with, “Hi, how are you? My name is _____.” But at least add a few mores lines or somethin‘.

One guy that wrote me actually said, “I noticed that we have some of the same things in common …” And then he asked me a couple of questions.

THAT impressed me.  That’s PROBABLY how you’re supposed to do things on that site. I dunno. But THAT makes me want to write back to that person, to offer more information, y’know? And I did.

But others – to me, it seems – apparently need a bit of work.

I exchanged numbers with one guy I talked to, based on a Hi-how-are-you e-mail.  A day or so later, while walking to work, I heard my phone beep. The guy had sent me a text.

“Hello,” he wrote. Period.

After making fun of him out loud, I wrote him back. “Hi,” I texted. “How are you?”

“I am fines,” he wrote. (Not a typo.)

After a deep breath and rolling my eyes, I texted back, “So, what’s up?”

“Nothing,” he responded. “What are you doing?”

“Going to work,” was my short reply.

“Ok then,” he responded. And that was the end of THAT conversation. To be fair, we did talk later that week, but only because I ended up calling first, just to avoid any more four-word texts.

Another time, guy wrote me a message while I was logged onto the Web site. His first e-mail was “Hi how are you?” as his first e-mail. I looked at his profile and crinkled my nose. But I decided to give it the old college try.

And Lord KNOWS I tried my best to get a conversation going.

By the third exchange, he was all like, “Give me your MSN please.” Just like that. All he offered up in conversation was that he was about to go to bed, because he had to work the next day.

Needless to say, I responded to his MSN request by asking, “How about e-mail instead?” He never wrote me back. (Which is fine by me. Aggressive little man.)

Look, I’m not looking for poetry or a  life story in the first e-mail.

But I don’t think I’m being completely unreasonable when I say it WOULD be nice if besides an opening line, there were another two or three lines to go with it, because I’d be more likely to engage in conversation … possibly more.

I also realize that, if it bothers me so much, I can just ignore these one-line messages.  

But I’m still at the stage where – at least until I meet them – I’d like to give them a chance. 

And hey – perhaps in real life these guys are actually very talkative. 

But if I’m doing most of the work in a conversation where only typing is involved …

Am I wrong in thinking I’ll be the one doing the work in a face-to-face conversation?

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5 thoughts on ““Hi, How Are You?”

  1. “Hi, how are you?” is an ok opening for a chat, but not for the entirety of an email or message. If that’s all they’re sending, it probably means they’re sending out 100 of these “feelers” to see who nibbles. It’s like a poke.

    That’s lazy + kinda scummy = fail.

    Don’t waste your time with guys who can’t give a little of theirs to you.

    Next!

  2. Cinders says:

    Did I tell you I signed my brother up for ok cupid? It’s online as well. Anyways, my brother wrote this very interesting girl one day, and you know what he said? It wasn’t just ‘hi, how are you?’ It was along the lines of her being ‘pretty cute’…But then he goes one and tells her he thinks she’s missing an eyebrow in one of her pictures and can see her nose hairs in another! Suffice to say, she told him he just very elaborately insulted her and she told him to f-off.

    Now tell me, which would you rather have…? LOL.

  3. dicampbell says:

    If you’re telling me to choose between settling for borderline-lazy and outright insulting, then maybe I should pick the third option:

    Deleting my account. LOL.

    And tell me – how’s OK Cupid been working out for your brother since his “incident”? LOL.

  4. Cinders says:

    Oh, well, it took me a few days to actually convince him to write the first time! I just can’t do it all for him! I wrote to one girl for him – she was really cute! But he was TOO SHY to write her back! He’s killing me!

    Good luck with it all. I’m sure you’ll find someone one day. You just have to lower your standards. LOL. Not happening, eh? =D

  5. hahaha funny post and if begin to regale my online dating tales you might end up deleting your account – so I won’t 😉 I like to keep optimism going!

    But since you were tempted, I can tell you though what would have happened had you replied to ‘Hi, How are you?’ email. I was bored and did reply to see what the guy would do. Observe and be entertained-

    Generic Guy who very little details on his profile, mails- “Hello”
    I respond with- “Hi”
    GG writes back- “How are you?”
    I say- “Fine And you?”
    Nothing. No response since then.
    😀

    Good luck woman!

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