THAT’s a First …

I’ve had my share of “characters” who decide to try and “chat me up” (and I use the phrase loosely) while waiting for a bus …

But I’ve never had someone do it to me while waiting for a train. 

Picture it: Scarborough, just this afternoon.

I’m on the Scarborough Rapid Transit (SRT) platform. It’s cold. My iPod is blasting in my ears.

This dude passes me on my left and stops just next to me. He’s facing me – which means he wants to talk.

Inwardly groaning at which one of two things he’s going to say to me, I reluctantly pull out my left earbud … and the conversion went something like this:

Guy: Hi.

Me: Hi. (I’m looking at him, tight-lipped.)

Guy (extending his hand): My name is Glen.

Me (weakly shaking it): I’m Denise.

Glen: How are you today?

Me: Fine, thanks.

(Awkward Pause # 1 as I lean a bit sideways to see if the train is coming yet. Sadly, no. He turns and does the same.)

Glen: So … are you coming from work?

Me: No. I’m coming from … home.

Glen: You go to school?

Me: No, I work … downtown.

Glen: What kind of work do you do?

Me: I work at a bank – I’m a teller. (Complete lie # 2.)

(Awkward Pause # 2. Still no train.)

Glen: So … do you have a cell phone?

Me: No. I disconnected it last week.

(Where’s the damn train?)

Glen: Do you have an e-mail address?

Me: Yes.

Glen: Can I have your e-mail address?

Me: No.

At this point, I hear a weird noise behind me, so I turn away from what I hope is the end of the conversation with “Glen” to watch some semi-crazy guy pick through the litter receptacle and extract a cup from a fast-food place that used to carry someone’s pop.

I watch him for about 20 seconds. And then I turn around to see that Glen is still standing there.

Following Awkward Pause # 3, in which he turns to see whether the train is FINALLY coming, he turns back to me and says, “Good to meet you. Have a nice day,” and walks away.

Seriously? Seriously. Does any of that stuff actually WORK? I’d be interested to find out how successful he’s been. 

Not that the weirdo factor would be completely eliminated … but I now firmly believe that I really, really, REALLY need to move out of Scarborough.

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5 thoughts on “THAT’s a First …

  1. Kristy says:

    First, I love that you chose the name Denise as a pseudonym.

    Second, only appropriate that bank teller was your phantom vocation. When I used to tell people where I worked, they would assume I said CIBC and make comments about banking.

    Third, this reminds me of when we were waiting for the subway one day, and a guy asked us for change. He started off by calling you “sister” and you said “I’m not your sister.” Hmmm. Does it lose something in the retelling?

  2. dicampbell says:

    “Denise” is my staple fake name. Considering it’s probably one of the names I’m wrongly called often, I figured it was appropriate.

    And do you know what? I don’t even remember remember the subway incident. YOU have a better memory than I do. And I am apparently much mouthier to strangers than I thought :).

  3. Allyson says:

    I have way too many of my own stories similar to this one. And a few of the lame pick-up attempts happened despite me waving my wedding ring around without a hint of subtlety. I feel your pain sister.

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