A Pot-Pourri of Stuff …

Wednesday: Out for a late dinner with friends after a stressful day at work, my friends (two women, one guy) and I chatted, mostly about the whole business of dating. How DO you meet people in this city in a non-online manner? And when you do, how do you approach it in a way that’ll get across whether you just want to date around, or if you want something more serious?

It was an interesting conversation nonetheless, and at the end of it all, one of my friends decided to send me a Web site link to this group that she’s a part of. I don’t know if I’ll embark on it or not. It’s a Chinese-language group.

Thursday: During one of the few periods at work where I was at my desk for more than five minutes, I decided to check my e-mail. Combing through it, I skimmed the digest for this social group I’m a part of, when I saw my name come up in someone’s note from Tuesday. I immediately went to the group site and read the message in full. Someone was asking if I was interested in being set up on a blind date.

I have never EVER been on a blind date. In the past, I would have emphatically said no. But rather than tell you what I’ve decided, I’m not going to say anymore about it for now. All I’ll say is that this came as a complete surprise to me.

Friday: Remember Reason #59a as to why I’m a loser (as if I haven’t hit you over the head with it enough times already)? It looks like it’s met a bit of a sad conclusion (to me, anyway).

While out at a bar last night with friends, some long-lost acquaintances from the acting/TV/movie scene showed up, chief among them 59a’s cousin (who, in his own right, is an awesome individual, and I was tickled pink to see him anyway).

We were dancin’ up a storm, getting out the week’s frustrations, and I – stalker that I am – asked him, “So, how’s your cousin doing?’

Once he registered who I was talking about, he said, “Oh, he’s living -” and then said something I couldn’t make out ’cause the music was so loud. I figured it out, though, when he said, “It’s so sad. All my good friends are now either in L.A. or Vancouver.”

So, yeah. L.A. Sad indeed.

Oh well – guess I really do have to close the chapter on this one, don’t I? I wish I could find a way to keep it wedged open. To me, he was too walk-into-a-bookcase cute NOT to have a crush on.

Le sigh.

Today: I’ve been thinking about something a friend of mine said to me last night on our way to the bar. We were talking dating, and she said, “You should just get out there and date as much as you can. Sign up on Lavalife and just get out there.”

She added that she’s done it in the past, because how else do you meet people in this city? And who has time, outside of busy jobs like ours?

I know she has a point, and I’ve actually been mulling that over. But that would violate a personal policy of mine: That I like to meet people in person, in social situations – spontaneous outings, parties, gatherings in general.

The online thing – which, to its credit, has come a long way since its early days – has never really appealed to me. For one, you’re at your computer at home or whenever, instead of out and about. And everyone nowadays is a bit cautious about who they get tangled up with. You just are hoping that they’re not creepy.

I know some people will probably argue that online correspondence takes away the pretense you’d get out at bars or wherever. And that is probably true.

And my other question: dating people as it is, is a crapshoot. But is there a happy medium with online dating sites? Don’t people either go onto these sites in search of a relationship (one extreme) or sex (the other)?

Forgive my ignorance if this is not the case. But this is stuff I’d love to have cleared up before I decide to either give this a try or stick to my tried-and-true method of both organized and last-minute, haphazard social situations.

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One thought on “A Pot-Pourri of Stuff …

  1. Caroline says:

    I will second your thoughts about the difficulty of meeting suitable suitors. I have never tried the online thing and I’m not really keen to. It is impersonal and you don’t have the reassurance from your friends that he’s not psycho.

    But that being said, I met a guy at a party on the weekend. I’d never met him before, but when he came clean about who he was, I realised I knew his whole dating history because he’s a friend of a friend. It was a definite bummer. Nice guy, but he just broke up with his long-term girlfriend — I’m talking, “getting married this summer” long-term!

    Can’t even get out of the gates!

    So, if you come up with any solutions, I’d love to hear about it! But for now, I wallow from the same cup!

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