Modified Speech: Kinda Catchy, No?

connect-a-neck: A term to describe a person’s slight weight gain, which is visibly apparent in their facial profile, most notably where the neck connects with the chin; not yet approaching double-chin status. (Source: MTV Canada)

I heard this term one weekend afternoon watching some MTV Canada (because that’s the kind of exciting life I lead, when not stalking people on IMdB.com). It was part of the “after-party” following the first episode of the new season of the of the reality series, “The Hills”. The two VJs were dissecting the breakup of the main character and her boyfriend at the end of the summer.

In the midst of their analysis, the male VJ points out that the now ex-boyfriend had a little something he referred to as “connect-a-neck” – suggesting he’d gone a little soft and lost whatever strong male jawline he may have had, possibly because of no exercise and one too many beers. Then, to illustrate the point to his fellow female VJ, suggested that he had a bit of the same “condition” going on, turning in profile to the camera and tracing the region with his top of his ballpoint pen.

It’s stuck in my head ever since. Don’t ask me why – I just like the way it sounds. Like the verbal equivalent of a small pair of castinets.

vajayjay haze: What happens in some women, when sexual urges are so strong it impairs the ability to properly focus or concentrate on any tasks whatsoever, until said sexual urges are sated. (Source: Loquacious D … partially)

Walking home with two friends from a party, one of my friends was talking about the booty call she was going to have later on that night. In recalling her week, had mentioned that it had been a while since her last booty call, so it was making it hard to concentrate on the work she had been trying to do that way. The only way she’d be able to concentrate, she said, was if she took care of business.

“Ah,” I said. “That there is what I call the vajayjay haze.”

I can only take credit for the “haze” part. Thanks and apologies are due to Grey’s Anatomy creator Shonda Rimes for coming up the first part. If not for the skittish American networks, who squirm at hearing the word which kinda sounds like “angina” more than once during a medical drama, I could not have found a venue to use such a great made-up word in a sentence.

I do believe my work is done for another week.

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