Signs The World’s Not Yet Ending

Okay, for real –

Is it just me, or is life in the world I read about and watch on TV righting itself?

Sunday: Saddam gets the nod for the noose. No- brainer. But I think they should hold off until that other trial finishes.

Tuesday: Britney finally does the right thing and drops her greasy, freeloadin’, wrestling-ruining husband in the pile of Things No Longer Wanted, which includes items like those Cheetos she was eating during her trailer-trash pregnancies, and the some of the baby weight caused by said Cheetos. The best part? She goes ice skating the day after … all the way to the bank. Scary part? I got EXCITED. And I don’t even like her that much. I must be coming down with something.

And today? Even better than earlier this week, and way back in high school when all the kids cheered when we found out O.J. was not guilty, combined:

The Democrats got the House. AND the Senate. Aaaand Donald Rumsfeld was shown the door.

Whaaaaat?!

It’s, like, the trifecta of justice! I’m so happy, I could cuss. But I’ll just settle for having shivers all over my scalp while cussing in my head … which I hope isn’t the pre-cursor to an aneurysm from all the excitement.

If this was only up until now, what else could possibly happen on Thursday to make me do the crazy dance? ‘Cause I’m only a couple shuffles away.

Now, if someone upstairs could only do something about this, this, this, and this, then I know this week isn’t some sort of cruel joke whose awful punchline hasn’t played out yet.

And oh yeah, and if you manage to accomplish all that, I’ve got a personal request: can someone either do something about this, like, permanently? It’s getting on my nerves. I’m also willing to take one of these, which should come complete with this (the second, not the first), and … this, as ample compensation for pain, suffering and mental distress.

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