Crazy people LOVE me

I’ve always believed I attract crazy people. Case in point:

While standing at my desk this morning, the phone rings.

It’s one of the security guards downstairs.

Not just any guard – it’s Dan. We’re on first-name relations. Why? ‘Cause the one person we both dread seeing has dropped by the building. For the fourth time. In three weeks.

It’s this middle-aged Korean lady who wanted me to find someone to do a story. She’s somehow here in the country illegally, because she tried to get from her native South Korea to the United States, but she says her immigration attempts were foiled by her country’s government.

What else? Ummm … she came up with this medicine, which she tried to get patented, but to no avail, because the Korean government interfered with that, too. And her secret serum somehow ended up in the hands of last year’s Nobel Peace Prize winners for Chemistry. (I barely know how to spell “chemistry” on my best days, let alone understand it.)

I’m sure some of you have sympathy for her. I did, too. At first. That was mainly because her English – spoken or written – wasn’t the best.

Then I found a colleague who speaks Korean – and has better judgement than me – to talk to her and translate.

She thinks everyone is conspiring against her. I’m not just talking about her homeland’s government. I mean, the U.S. Patent Office, and even her own family, who’s tried to put her in a mental institution. Twice. And disowned her.

She even gave me one week to get back to her and decide whether we can interview her. And I called her back earlier in the week and left a message at the place she was staying and said, “No interview.”

Apparently to her that translates to, “No interview today. Try again tomorrow.”

I even said to her face, “We can’t do this story. No interview. None.” I explained to her why. Or, at least I tried.

I’m waiting for the phone calls to start.

One thought on “Crazy people LOVE me

  1. Anonymous says:

    You know I met this woman a few months ago!! Okay so here I was minding my own business getting ready to eat my lunch FINALLY @ 2pm. I am tired as its been a long harrowing day and I want to finally take a breath and relax. Breath in …”Excuse me, but I need you to read this for me!” Startled I look up to see this woman in front of me. I thought at first she just needed to understand something written on it as she sound ESL. So graciously I start to read the paper. ‘Great! It a F****** page long.-sigh’ I think to myself. The more I read the more I get confused and i tell her not to worry that’s it’s just junk!! She starts talking to me telling me her story about how her husband is giving her pills to make her seem crazy and how he has taken her kids away from her locked her up in the looney bin for a time -Not long enough in my opinion as she is interupping my bleepin’ peace time. By the time I finally manage to get through to her that I really think they had a point about her being nuts and that if she doesn’t start harrassing me I will start to call security on her. She seems to take that as ‘Okay i believe u and want to help!!’ -Hello did u not get the hint when I said to back off??’ By the time she finally left I had 10 freakn’ minutes to finish my lunch which I didn’t enjoy and the rest as we say is History. Except for the fact that everyone stayed the hell away from me when I got back to the office. The family thought I was on my period, which pissed me off even more. What started off as a “yeah, it was a good day” ended up as a totaly F***** up day!! Would you do me the total favour and recomend a hit man for her please? Everytime I see her she comes to me and starts ranting at me!! KILL HER PLEASE!!! SHE’S HELLSPAWN HERE ON EARTH!!!!!!!!!!!

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